Tuesday, June 2, 2015

pattern "capture"?

unconscious thoughts, "notice" that i have been thinking that (or even just thinking), instant (or simultaneous) guilt/condemnation/frustration.  thus the latter almost seems what conscious is.

then the "i give up", attention captivating distractions, depress all these before, ...

the pattern of "trying" to see the pattern in a "moment" of time.  like trying to remember a video as well as just watching the video (or trying to memorize each frame and then sequence of frames to burn into "my" inner dvr).  a pattern could only be "seen" as a "photo", understood as one concept.

the above pattern of unconcious, notice/guilt, other emotional "management", psychological then behavioral distractions - i think i "got" while meditating.  the urge to "capture" it, but then the last paragraph because i feel more like i'm "in" that pattern (certainly "get" that a little more, but what does "getting" that mean except "i" can't get anything else!)

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