can i write in as much as a sense of rest as i think i get from watching tv? is it rest even, or the ineffable that resting is either a substitute or prerequisite for? what about eating? is that pleasure different than resting? anyway, take away the expectation from what i'm going to write would i want to write? i did want to "record" the concept of resting in now (that Scott Killoby initiated for me). tired though. tired. tired. tired. meditating too. let tired be. be tired. close eyes for a while during "blogging". is that "what" i'm doing "while" blogging. thinking that i'm "writing" and not writing, closing my eyes, feeling tired (pressure pain in behind my face), lying in bed, stopping for a full breath, stopING ...
how about that, that i'm just aware. that being aware-ing too. so i'm resting in awareness AS i write. pausing. tired. tired while writing "tired" or just aware that i'm "writing "tired''"? low blood sugar hunger hole as well as pain behind face tired.
now is safe. i don't have to worry about manipulating what else "needs" to happen down the line and how i have to manipulate these feelings "best" in order to manage down the line considerations.
battery already low. just in time to head to AA. don't have to worry about how tiredness impinges on interacting with Steve
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