itches (the noun) again. that seemingly elusive, and now probably just beyond language, understanding of why i don't need/want to scratch an itch. Knowing i am not a body why would i want to scratch. i have already experienced any degree of itchiness (the crescendo of "unrelated" feelings) FROM believing i am the body. when i wonder if i'm really identified with a body, well itchiness makes it loud and clear!
(news flash. i'm TYPING because i think i'm a body, no? oh, another news flash? - it's like the itch. i'm having an itch to journal this. but that analogy seems to show i am now scratching it. could be. more like, then, i am giving MORE attention to the itch to transcend it. how bout that itch to UNDERSTAND and see that everything fits!)
began to just realize that the practices i've made of not scratching that have confirmed for me that the itch would/will subside and even could/will become "just" an itch (the itchiness vanishes - just like all the ness's do anyway in "time"! ---- these practices are actually something of an improved way TO scratch instead OF scratching.
the confidence from experience is now a better "scratch". but there's the rub: the rational hijacking of this now to use it TO scratch (for the itch of rationality itself really, but that just confuses rationality).
happier dreams, as both promise and warning. happier "me" in dreams, not so much happier dreams. the use IS i turn more and more to ME, the temptation is step off the escalator at the happy floor.
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