whose the audience for this? common specifics are: me that rereads, anywhere from immediately to some other defined or not time; people i talk to in my head already; to a person i imagine for things i'm working out that i have no one to converse with about;
real time issue: irritation at not being heard. Gregg walking downstairs and I ask where the pants he's handing down to me are. a "what" followed by not processing and replying about what pants i'm giving him. and then his exclaiming as he has to go get them, "surrenders" to my explanation that i'm asking now because i'll want to take them on my trip down. me trying to be conscious of my irritation and simultaneously allowing it (real time compassion for myself and what wants and needs the irritation is coming out of), and wondering how the voiced (and facially felt) irritation is affected by trying to step a little "out of time" that this "conscious" attempt seems to be like. and all this overlaid yet again with awareness of some attention concurrently about identity, the spiritual suggestions i'm reading over and over as well as just how i feel like a mean person, can't ever change this, how futile, mundane. maybe that's all - there does have to be a limit!
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